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I am in an envious position to some. I live a life on a permanent high, legally, and for free. I get morphine on the NHS for a rather nasty dose of pancreatitis and it kills the pain almost completely. Sometimes my pancreas flares up and I have a bottle of liquid morphine to bolster the tablets I take daily. The extra dose means I float around the ceiling for quite a while on a blissful cloud of carefree euphoria.

To anyone into recreational drugs (which I am not) this may seem like a free ride to heaven but, being someone with a firm interest in Thelema and higher states of consciousness, the novelty of it all quickly wore off once I realised that meditation and energy work is now almost impossible. I am a Reiki Master on top of my interests in Thelema and Buddhism and even a gentle 5 minute self treatment akin to Reiki level 1 is ridiculously difficult. The fuzziness in my head stops me from focussing on the energy flow properly and any benefit is thus muted quite considerably. Also the constant tingle in my body distracts me and also confuses any energetic sensations that may occur.

I may be able to come off the morphine at some point in the future, but this is not certain. One thing I have definitely learnt from all this is that drugs are not good for spiritual progress no matter what some may say. Sure you can get weird and wacky visions, but, without a crystal clear mind, how could you ever trust the validity of and knowledge you may gain from the experience?

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